Fall and Rise

Life with an autistic child. Many do not understand the struggles that it entails to have a 5 year old with autism spectrum disorder with difficulties with sensory processing and communication. Many do not see the battle going on behind the public scenes. Many do not see the internal battles, the pain, the struggles hidden behind a smile, a seemingly normal life, an image of a happy family in public. But I would not trade my life with my daughter for anything else. My daughter has brought me joy and allowed me to see the world in a different angle.

Yes, I cannot and do not have a social life as I would have had should my daughter not have been where she is on the spectrum. Yes, there are times when Murphy's law seems to hit and hit and stay and stay continuing the downward spiral, where negativity invades and overwhelms, when all seem dark without any way out of this spiral this dark hole. Yes, it comes with more downs than ups in my personal life, in my couple / married life, in my family life, ... to sometimes reach the point of total fed up point. But again, then the universe sends me a sign - a little achievement that seems normal, no big deal, not much to others, but to me means the world. And it makes my day, makes me smile, makes me cry of joy, makes me have hope of a better tomorrow.

Some might say I am optimistic, maybe I am. Some might say I see the beauty and the positive in the dark negative situations, maybe I do. Some might say I am ridiculously stupid to think that this is a good life, maybe it is not always 100% good but the positive times, the little achievement, the support of others, ... make it all worth it to see the beauty of the situation, to see that with resilience and patience and hope, comes happy moments.

Yes sometimes I crumble, and I fall, but it is only if I rise that I can recreate myself, rising up stronger. There is beauty in this world, there are positives in all situations. One just needs to be open to it. In adversity, take a moment, cry, shout, ... then breathe, calm yourself down, exhale all the pain, the hate, the negativity, ... and rise to move forward stronger and ever ready to face whatever lies ahead.