What's in a diagnosis?

Some might ask "what's in a diagnosis?". Please allow me to tell you my story; that of a mother and her daughter with autism spectrum disorder (ASD).

My background in education and psychology allowed me to see that my daughter was presenting delays in development. At 30 months old, she was lining up everything, toys and other objects around the house, and taking them away or moving them just a bit would cause distress. Even her food was lined up before being eaten. food and drink wise, I would say she was a fussy eater for her age and I noticed how food could not be mixed up and how she had a preference for beige colour food. She also was very sensitive to sound. And would never quite be alright with fading lights. She could also have been considered a clingy baby and toddler, always looking for hugs and feet and arms deep pressure massage. She also demonstrated around the age of 30 months the ability to say and place her alphabets and numbers in reverse order. The tablet with educational videos on phonics/alphabet/spelling and numbers seem to be of keen interest to her.

What triggered my thoughts of an ASD diagnosis was the regression at the age of 18 months especially with communication, as well as the lack of eye contact, her going for a hand leading approach, the anxiety in crowded spaces and change in routine, her need to isolate under a blanket to calm down, and her finger flicking stimming. So, I sought the help of her school in Dubai to observe and confirm my suspicions. The inclusion department of the school referred us to an educational psychologist who ran the diagnostic test, and in November 2021, we received the diagnosis report.

I remember reading the diagnosis report, tears pouring down my cheeks ... It hurt and made me sad that I was right that my daughter has autism spectrum disorder; fearing the challenges to be faced, crying over all that would not be possible, ... I remember having the French poem of La Laitière et le Pot au lait, Jean de La Fontaine coming to my mind as Perette exclaimed "adieu veau, vache, cochon, couvée" as the milk fell, she said goodbye calf, cow, pig, chickens.. her dreams were chattered; it was the fall of her hopes of good fortune. I was sad as I knew that many of the dreams and expectations I had for my daughter would not be possible, or at the very least would prove to be very challenging to do so. It hurt for some time, but then I told myself "get a grip on yourself!". That was the negative part of it, but I had to see the positive side of having a diagnosis report.

I realised I was also crying relieved that now with the diagnosis, it was now concrete and no more an awful lot of questions unanswered, it was written black on white what my daughter's difficulties were and how to approach them to better support her. I knew that from there, I could move forward more knowledgeable of her challenges, that I would now set myself to become more knowledgeable on how to support her to provide the most appropriate scaffolding she would need to face her daily challenges and learn to live with them. I knew that I would have to face many challenges myself as her parent as well as face the difficulties that would come from the environment, other people, etc. I anticipated the struggles to get her accepted by peers, family and society. But I remained nonetheless positive that now I was better prepared to face any challenges forward and would do my utmost to provide my daughter with all the support she needed to also be prepared to face life as an autistic person.